A Moment With The Men of Leading With Power
At Leading With Power, we tackle all kinds of day to day situations that men deal with, offering advice on how to best succeed and tackle issues as they arise. To give you an inside look, we thought we’d interview LWP Madison Chapter Leader Josh Kaurich and LWP members TJ Morice, Tom Walther, and Brent Welch to get some of their advice and insights.
Here’s what they have to say on the topic of relationships (both romantic and platonic) and
Q: What advice do you have for a new marriage?
Josh: I have a lot to share here but I will keep it very generic. Put your money together and treat everything financially as a team approach. Second, pray together.
TJ: Honor the time and commitment it takes at all times.
Tom: Spend time together in the Word of God and pray together. Recognize that you both are now “one” and that takes a change of mind. Giving of each other to each other takes a radical mind shift.
Brent: Pray for your spouse first to bring harmony and change of heart. I focus on the 80% that I love about my wife, not the 20% that I don’t like. Seek the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and body. Set your affections on your wife.
Q: What advice do you have for when you feel discouraged with your marriage?
Josh: Remind yourself that it is not your fault. Seriously though, I had discouragement earl
on in marriage. The key was surviving the rough chop by being around solid men of character that saw marriage as a bond and union that requires extra care and attention at time.
TJ: Issues are always a two-way street and it’s best to contemplate openly from both perspectives.
Tom: Prayer, not only for your partner, but also for yourself. The Bible tells us to “take the log out of our own eye, before trying to remove the splinter in someone else’s.” How easily we see things from only our perspective.
Brent: Pray, listen to God. Read books, listen to podcasts and sermons on the subject. Dive into the scriptures and talk to a brother or two about it.
Q: Any advice for people who are recently divorced or going through a divorce?
Josh: Every time you see yourself in a mirror, validate who you are in Christ. If you do not know your identity in Christ, get around others, a church, or group to help show you your identity. The Bible is full of many characters faced with adversity. Heck, perhaps it was you who caused the divorce. Remember, God loves a good comeback story!
TJ: Stand back, look at yourself and list out areas you yourself could have done things
differently, and what daily differences in word, action, and deed that may have been involved in order to contemplate if there is an opportunity to adjust the course yet. We’re all selfish and too often we don’t stand back to look at our situations, whether it be with a spouse, family, or work.
Tom: Read the book “Discovering the Mind of a Woman” by Ken Nair. Great advice with many practical examples of marriages restored, even after divorce.
Brent: I’ve not been through this. However, Jesus is with them through the storm. No matter how dark the night, deep the hole, or depressing the situation, God is there with you. He has the power to change everything.
Q: Why is having fellowship with other men important to you?
Josh: We all crave fellowship. Fellowship is a basic building block of life. You simply cannot be your best without other men in your life. Period. This goes for women as well. Even if you get together with someone else to talk about nothing but the weather, you are ahead of the man who sits alone. In physics, the greater the mass together, the greater the gravitational pull.
TJ: God has wired men uniquely and it’s only through that solid connection with the right foundation we can help build each other up and be there to support one another from perspectives that we each understand. It’s similar in my mind to women and the importance of the time they have together.
Tom: None of us can be as good as we can be trying to do it alone.
Brent: No man is an island. We need each other. A log in the fire goes out when pulled away from the fire. We need to be discipled by a “Paul”. We need fellowship from a Jesus follower and we need to disciple a “Timothy” at all times.
Q: What advice do you have for first-time dads?
Josh: Be prepared to become a gross human being! You know you have arrived when you change a diaper, forget to wash your hands due to the chaos, and then go back to eating spare ribs.
TJ: Quantity time is more important than quality time; invest time with your kids.
Tom: Another great book: Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp. Wished I would have read it when the kids were younger. Now I get to practice it on the grandkids!
Brent: First time dads are to love their wives! Love your kids and pray for them. Teach them about Jesus and infuse your life with Jesus. Pray for wisdom and for the Holy Spirit to fill you. Walk in the Spirit and you won’t fulfill the desires of your flesh.
Q: What if I don't know anything about parenting or don't feel ready?
Josh: Men seem to learn to love. I never felt ready. However, I let my wife lead in this camp. However, men were built to lead their families and you have God given gifts just like women. The best advice would be to keep it simple. Be present and just love your kids. That is pretty much all they want early on. If you really struggle, just keep it as simple as possible. Sadly, too many kids do not have present fathers. Always remember to ask God for help. God is here to help as well. He pursues our best interest. Just ready your heart and be honest about your shortcomings.
TJ: God doesn’t give any parent a handbook other than insights and wisdom in the Bible. While it is there, they are principles we have to apply and do that together in unison with our spouse.
Tom: Join the crowd! That’s where a group like LWP can be helpful. To connect you with men who have been there!
Brent: No one is ready. Kids don’t come with an instruction manual. Every child is different.
Enter their world and love them right where they are at. You’ve got this! This is what you were created to do!
There you have it! If you’re interested in more advice, inspiration, and motivation - and building your band of brothers - find your local Leading With Power event here. We’d love to see you at our monthly lunches!